Barrister-at-Law | CEDR Accredited Mediator | Elder Mediation Certified

faq

Frequently Asked Questions

What is it?
Separating Couples Mediation is a process where you work with a neutral third party to explore your options as you seek agreement on the key issues relating to your separation and divorce.
The aim is to reach a settlement that your individual legal and other professional advisers can then validate without the need for protracted legal proceedings.
There are four main stages:   Individual Consultations:
  • To discuss your individual needs and objectives.
  • To provide you with information to assist you in reaching a decision about participation.
  • To confirm the suitability of Separating Couples Mediation for your circumstances.
  Initial Joint Session to discuss and confirm:
  • An agenda that meets both parties’ requirements.
  • Anticipated outcomes (ranging from standalone agreements covering specific areas to a full settlement agreement).
  • Any immediate issues to be addressed.
  • The format and frequency of future sessions.
  • Expectations in respect of the collation and verification of documents and information.
  • The role and importance of legal and professional advice.
  Follow-on Sessions as required to address your agenda through discussion, negotiation and preparation of draft agreements for your consideration.  
Final Settlement Agreements presented for validation by legal and/or other professional advisers.

A key feature of Separating Couples Mediation is that both parties retain full control over what they wish to discuss and resolve. You determine the scope and the issues you wish to reach agreement on.

Separating Couples Mediation normally covers:
  • Current, interim, and future status of the relationship
  • Proposed living arrangements
  • Proposed parenting arrangements
  • A financial review including:
    • Assets, Debts, Incomes, Liabilities, Pensions,
    • Maintenance
  • Timescale and confirmation of interim arrangements
Your Final Settlement Reflects
  • That you have reached a settlement based on your own decisions
  • The logic and rationale behind those decisions
  • Your ability to act with the best intentions toward your children, your family, and each other
  • Your access to, and consideration of, appropriate legal and other professional advice
You should use Mediation if you want to:
  • Focus on your future and concentrate on how best to get there with the minimum of conflict or hostility.
  • Maintain control over the process and make your own decisions.
  • Remove the uncertainty and stress of protracted legal proceedings.
  • Maximise your chances of a working relationship longer term.
  • Increase your chances of securing a settlement that reflects a fair and lasting outcome.
To conclude a separation and divorce you will have to go through some sort of process.  For the vast majority of separating couples Mediation is the most effective and efficient.
Mediation will take place over a number of weeks or months as you build towards a mutually acceptable settlement.
The time taken is a balance of:  
  • Maintaining momentum.
  • A realistic timescale for the collation, validation and review of documents and detailed financial information.
  • The time required for both parties to consider positions, proposals and negotiations in sufficient depth.
  • Parties securing appropriate legal and professional advice and for them to reflect upon and include this in their deliberations as the sessions develop.
  Where both parties are fully prepared and available, a settlement agreement can be achieved very quickly.
Sessions:
Initial Joint Session – €200  plus VAT @23%  per hour
Subsequent Sessions – €200  plus VAT @ 23% per  hour
Documents drafted by the Mediator:
Full Settlement Agreement – Depending on  the issues (e.g. maintenance , property , pensions )between €400 and €1,000  plus VAT ´23%
In cases where there is a lot of financial documents furnished, eg company accounts, large property portfolio numerous pension funds, the mediation reserves the right to charge an hourly rate of €100 per hour to familiarise herself with the documentation in preparation for the mediation
Yes.  Separation and Divorce have significant legal implications and you will need to ensure that these are managed correctly.  It is important that you fully understand your rights and obligations and the consequences of any settlements you enter into.

You will be taking significant decisions.  You may require specialist advice in respect of:

  • Your assets, pensions and financial planning.
  • Succession, Wills and other contingency planning.

Sourcing key documents and the detailed information you will need to include in a final settlement agreement.

The benefits of mediation are:
  • It is voluntary and operates in a safe environment where the aim is to reduce stress and anxiety.
  • At no stage will you be placed under any pressure or duress.
  • It is confidential so your affairs can remain private up until the point where you are ready to make your final settlement agreement.
  • Parties work towards a joint outcome, offering an attractive alternative to the adversarial approach.
  • You get to make your proposals and respond to counter proposals in real time, avoiding the extensive delays, stress and communication issues associated with working through representatives.
  • It is a structured process mapped to your unique requirements and you will remain in control of the pace and scope of the decisions being taken throughout.
Where participants take advantage of the opportunity to communicate, co-operate and take a constructive approach, it has the potential to:  
  • Significantly reduce overall time and total costs.
  • Enhance trust in both the process and each other.
  • Focus on the outcomes that will provide everyone with a future they can live with, knowing they were fully consulted and did their best.
Produce a more comprehensive, flexible and sustainable settlement that is tailored to your situation.
  • A willingness to participate in good faith.
  • An open mind and a flexible attitude.
  • Take the opportunity to be creative when seeking solutions.
  • Be “appropriately selfish” and expect the same from the other party but recognise that compromise is essential.
  • A commitment to finding solutions that work for everyone.

A focus on the future rather than the past.

Where you feel that mediation is not progressing towards a full settlement agreement you could consider:
  • If it is worth re-engaging after parties take time to reflect.
  • Reaching standalone agreements on one or more specific areas or an interim agreement.
Seeking the advice of your legal or other professional advisers as to your alternative options.
  • Where the mediator advises that mediation is not suitable.
  • Where someone’s safety is determined to be at risk or if there is a history of domestic violence or child abuse.
  • If one party is not willing to cooperate with the mediation process.

Where the financial position is extremely complex or either party is bankrupt.

  • The physical and emotional safety of all participants is an absolute priority in Separating Couples Mediation.
  • We will discuss any concerns you may have during your individual consultation.
  • We appreciate the challenges that arise from negotiating under such circumstances and we remain vigilant to these throughout.
  • Mediation is entirely voluntary and either party can withdraw at any stage.

Sometimes in-person mediation is not possible or one or both parties request an alternative – we will discuss a range of appropriate models with you.

  • Legal or any other type of professional advice.
  • Reconciliation, Counselling or Therapy.

An exercise in picking and choosing the bits you want or a “test-drive” for legal proceedings.

To arrange a consultation contact me at
dwbarrister@gmail.com

Next Steps?

To arrange  a consultation contact me at